Keep checking it bitch 🥰

There’s nothing here for you anymore 💓

If you want me to leave you alone so bad why the fuck are you checking my profile 🥺 leave me alone you fucking big ass tiddy baby, go cry to a new bitch. Or your old bitch!!! She’s out now 😍😍 you can talk shit about her like you do me!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

it’s SO FUCKING FUNNY that I caught you being a skeezy shit-talking little bitch boy and yet to this day you are the LAST PERSON i want to see at the end of every day, you’re the phone call I’m LEAST excited about, you’re the message and meme trash can dispenser that just isn’t funny and spams your stupid humor like it’s lipstick around a dog’s dick, and you’re the last person I could ever want to touch me.

How fucking funny that you’ve felt the way you do for as long as you have, when I’ve felt it THE WHOLE TIME SINCE DAY ONE 😂😂😂 WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR BITCH LEAVE?? LMFAO TAKE YOUR TWO THINGS AND GO YOU SCUMMY ASS LOSER ASS BITCH ASS FUCKING DOG FUCKER 🥺 Go find another bitch to talk shit about you delusional fucking brokedick LOSER 😂😂😂😂 I AM SINGLE LMFAO DONT WORRY I’LL HAVE ANOTHER BITCH EXCITED TO TALK TO ME EVERY DAY BY TOMORROW, YOU’LL STILL HAVE NOTHING AND A METH HABBIT ✨

@she-calls-me-p

Single!! 🥰

tell another bitch to leave you alone you delusional fucking clown, you will NEVER have to worry about me EVER AGAIN 😂😂🤣

fuck you, fuck your little act, I knew all along how you felt and I fucking hate you. 🥰 I’m single. Don’t ask me for anything, don’t talk to me about anything, you want me to leave you alone and you CAN BE LEFT THE FUCK ALONE 🥰

me?? lmfao I’m gonna make sure i never have a miserable ass headache like you in my life EVER again 😂🙌🏻 it was such a fucking mistake to include him in all of my birthday shots, fucking shit now I have to take it all down and edit it out and repost it all again 😂😂

the next time you shove that fucking dildo inside of me, I’m going to wait until you’re asleep and cram the whole thing up your dirty fucking asshole.

I’ve said multiple times that I don’t like it. That I don’t like penetration, that I don’t have fun with shit inside of me. I move my body away from you when you do that shit. I put my hand in front of it. I don’t make a single fucking noise every time you do it. It isn’t enjoyable, I’ve fucking said it multiple times. I will literally move down so it touches my clit instead and you still go out of your way to “correct it” back to wherever the fuck you put it, sometimes it’s not even in me it’s just against my fucking leg.

So maybe when you feel what I feel you’ll fucking understand. 🥰 Stop using it inside of me or I’ll start shoving it hard inside of you, you dipshit ass fuck 😍

And if you haven’t cleaned it since last time, stop using it at all since all you wanna do is give me fucking infections 🥰

@she-calls-me-p

petitworld:

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snowlattes:

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yesterday was the best day of my life 💓

My birthday party was a huge success, everybody I wanted to show up did, the food was great, my cake was beautiful, it wasn’t too terribly hot and nobody was upset.

Something in my brain said that I needed to try shrooms one more time. I didn’t finish the package I ordered, and I don’t really want to sell them to anyone or anything.. something said to try them after I picked up my party.

I told my partner because he was off. And something in him told him to suggest asking my sister if she wanted to come along. She was actually busy with someone else, but she decided to join and it was really, really nice.

We spread blankets out on the floor of my kitchen. Don’t ask why, the bathroom wasn’t really my comfort place when I had my bad trip and I just didn’t want to be downstairs or outside yet. The kitchen is where I laid. So I set up there. Blankets of every shape and size and softness, all piled into a huge square space. I set up all of the paints and canvases, my sister came over, and my partner made the tea.

I learned my lesson last time and asked that we only do 5g instead of 4g like the first time or 7/8g like previous. My sister is younger and smaller than me so I prevented her from having her own cup, she could just sip from mine and munch a mushroom or two if she wants to feel it more/deeper.

I only felt heavy and hard to breathe for the first hour, and the sickness/nausea was nowhere near as bad. I did go nonverbal, but this time because I went through it before, I was able to communicate a little better and my partner helped when my words failed. She wanted to walk around the nature in my neighborhood. For me, my body is hard to function, and my legs are difficult to work. But for her, she was flowing and feeling bliss, and it was fun to be around. I did struggle with my body and the mosquitoes and the heat/wiping sweat off my face, but the stars were the prettiest things. It was dark and hard to see, my vision was weird but noises were fine. We walked and had a nice time. We came home and painted and it was nice. I was able to enjoy music and paint and hum along. We both slept good and she spent the night.

Today doesn’t feel bad like it did before, but my body feels like it ran a marathon and my brain is very tired. I don’t know how to tell him that I want to do it again. When it’s fun I can think about so many things, I can fix the broken things I see and feel, and I’m capable of getting to the places I need to be. It is a ridiculous expense. But. If I have to work hard every week until I can get to the points I want to be at, to me it’s just so worth it. It’s incredibly worth it. I want to be able to buy 14g and have two doses available and accessible. I don’t want him to resent me for it.

Seeing my sister was such a light. And she kept saying that she was just so happy that she did it with me. 😭💓

I don’t understand where it all went wrong.

And like, all I can do is blame myself. It’s all my fault. It’s always my fault. I just wanted to feel like I did. I was just fucking greedy I guess.

My friend had to bail on me to make money, we had plans. And I didn’t really mind because things haven’t been the best between us. But I still wanted to carry through with what we were going to do. I just wanted to be outside. I just didn’t want to be alone because I was going to do more. And I knew I was doing more than last time. I didn’t think it was going to be like that.

I went with someone I love to a park to paint. Everything was fine. We laid out a bedsheet and sat under the trees. She grabbed a canvas and started pressing brush to paint. I wasn’t in the mood yet, I wanted to wait until the drugs set in and my vision started getting weird. She played music, the birds were chirping, rain was coming and we could smell it. It was nice.

I looked at the trees and I could see the way they grew out of the ground. I saw the grass and it was all flowering upwards and pleasant. Lightning struck from across the lake and it looked beautiful. The freckles on my skin all danced around each other and it was so friendly. I tried to tell her that..

I tried to tell her everything. Something in me just turned off and I had no way of communicating that to her. My body wasn’t responding correctly. My thoughts were rapid. I just wanted to focus on the grass and be grateful, she was having such a nice time…

I looked at the sheet and I saw black dots hopping up and down. I had to ask her if she saw them. The whole time I tried to not bother her while I got up and down struggling with not throwing up. But I had to ask. And we realized fleas were everywhere.

I don’t know, I frantically started trying to pick everything up from the ground. I didn’t know what was worth keeping and what was infested and needed to be thrown away, I couldn’t see, my vision was so blurry and it kept zooming in and out like some fucked up lens. My feet weren’t moving like I told them to, my legs were wobbling, my hands were shaking, my heart was too fast and I was struggling- STRUGGLING- to breathe. I told her that I could feel the weight of my rib cage and every organ inside of me, how heavy it all was, how hard it was to breathe. But I didn’t want to freak her out, I didn’t want to be weird, I just wanted to help her gather everything.

And I couldn’t. My fingers weren’t grasping and holding on to things. My arms were unstable. I said maybe she needed to call austin, maybe she needed help. She didn’t understand why I said what I did. It all was hitting me, it was overwhelming and it was way too quick. My brain felt like the witch’s cauldron in Brave when it was malfunctioning, flashes of one emotion directly to the next directly to the next and I felt it all so deeply. I thought a hundred thoughts in half of a second. I felt a thousand things in less than that. And by the time I found a sentence I could spit out to her, i always chose wrong.

I told her how hard it was to speak, that I had all of these thoughts like a hose welling up with water and my mouth was the kink, the muscles that make my voice move were failing. My body was failing. Everything I looked at was vibrating and when I closed my eyes it didn’t stop. I was so sick, I gagged so much and just couldn’t throw up. My hands weren’t gripping.. I was trying to help her pick up the paint and the canvases and everything and my body just was not responding to what I was begging it to do. I needed to look composed, I was scaring her..

I threw the blanket away, I left it at the park. On the drive home she asked what the plans were, that she was free all day she just had to go to her moms house down the road. I said she could finish her painting at my house, that I didn’t mind hanging out and that I was having a nice time with her.. but when we pulled in the driveway, it all just broke away.

I tried getting my things out of her car and my body was just refusing to cooperate. I was getting frustrated and she was feeling it. And I didn’t know what to do. She said they had to wake up early and that she needed to leave, and she did lmfao she left.

I laid on my kitchen floor for four hours. My brain broke. It was like shattered pieces, and I could only feel one at a time, but the flashes were so quick I couldn’t grasp it. In half of a second I felt suicidal sadness, blinding rage, hurt and envy and grateful and happy. Hot, cold, green, red, flash flash flash. Music sounded weird. Bird noises sounded weird. My voice sounded weird. I didn’t understand my phone and I couldn’t look at it,

but I was alone and I was feeling everything, all at once. He just made it worse. I called him to check on my friend and he tried telling her to go back to the house that she ran away from. He bothered my sister to come over. He bothered the friend that bailed on me to come over. He threatened to come over.

And I was falling apart. I was alone and I was falling apart. Everything I saw made me sick, I freaked my cats out, I ripped at my head. How could it all get so nasty so quick. It was so rapid, and came in waves. One second it would hit me and I would cope with “okay im feeling this now” and then I would just be WASHED over with something completely new and different. My brain couldnt process anything. I begged them all to leave me alone because nobody could grasp how I felt, nobody knew what to do, nobody could help, all I have is me, all I’ve ever had is me.

It was static, like listening to a radio with interference. I hated it. I went through the worst time and I had nobody and it was all my fucking fault because I just wanted to be happy. Greedy. Fucking greedy. I feel like such a weight in every single person’s life and I want to die, I want to fucking die, I don’t want to exist anymore I don’t care. I hate everyone I don’t even know why I’m even having this fucking party besides the fact that I’ve sunk so much fucking money into the food and decorations and bullshit.

Now I get to sit in a car with the husband PUTTING THE GODDAMN FUCKING WINDOW DOWN IN THIS SICK ASS FUCKING HEAT with his wife who REFUSES TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR FIVE MINUTES so I can DRINK AND FUCKING FORGET MY LIFE and I just want to WALK OUT IN TO THIS BUSY ASS HIGHWAY lmfao. I’m so goddamn fucking SICK of never having MONEY and now I’m ready to just ruin my ties with EVERYBODY.

FUCK 29.

mrlonelystoner: